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This the new intro for the show
A completely new intro for a completely new show
It’s purposely totally different from the old one
It’s much better, and much, much more fun

Good morning to you on this 21st evening of neon dawn
The new generation has old questions to new answers

This the new intro for the show
A completely new intro for a completely new show

In this entirely new show
Devised by our fair Bayford
You’ll find out the weight of our ball
What’s faster – rabbit or turtle
What’s heavier – an empty or a full cauldron
Who’s tougher – Jane or Tarzan
And what happens between cylinder and piston

Let’s find out what job is the best
Who’s smarter – delinquents or the police department
Let’s find the world’s biggest ham
And what makes businessman clever and artists dumb

This the new intro for the show
A shining new intro for a shining new show

These are the show credits
Oh, wasn’t this show so educationally great
Nothing but joy and beauty, the jury’s estimate
Who’s tougher – Tarzan or Jane
What’re flowers doing on the Tiananmen

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