F.G.M. (Šest minuta T.M.)

I have fantastic vocal abilities
Enormous range of crystal clear voice
Montserrat Shaban Bandaranaike
Is next to me, everyone’s last choice

Some time back, I did a gig for the state
Half cash upfront, check for the second rate
I had to keep calling my banker
So who could blame me, for losing my temper

Hallo, good day, is the payment in?
Three times a day, the clerks heard me saying
First reply – no, later – like hell it is
Waiting prolonged, weeks followed weeks

When I dialed the well known number one morning
Instead of a pleasant voice – twilight zone shrieking
It came to me that modern day business
Is more and more relying on faxes

Unfortunately, I didn’t have that machine
And since neighbor Simo, who has it, wasn’t in
I strained my vocal chords to the limit
And screamed like mad for about a minute

The fax bonded to me like a brother
Ink and blood, they’re thicker then water
So I yelled like a pig headed for slaughter
And my screaming got interpreted like money transfer

Tomorrow I stopped by my bank
Expecting to find my account blank
But – here’s your money, said the clerk
Thank you, I said, trying not to go berserk

As soon as I run back home, as you might guess
I began dialing, while counting the gained assets
There was at least 300 DEM and not a dinar less
Finally, the call got through, and I repeated the process

Again, the fax bonded to me like a brother
Ink and blood, they’re thicker then water
Again I yelled like a pig headed for slaughter
And my screaming got interpreted like money transfer

Like, by chance, I go back to the bank
Expecting to find my account blank
But – here’s your money, said the clerk
Thank you, I said, trying not to smirk

From that moment on, I don’t worry about the future
I just dial a number and repeat the procedure
I usually do just small amounts
So the bank wouldn’t get any doubts

And because I’m such a generous soul
Here’s something for you all
500 DEM in the currency of choice
Just call the bank, and play this voice…

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